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Fear, this crippling, disarming force
That grabs a choke hold grip on my life
And forces every dream to the ground.
Fear, this hot, potent feeling
That sneaks in and strips me bare,
Making me feel naked as the day I was born,
Then vanishes from sight leaving no trace and no sound
...Yet somehow I know he's still there
Fear, this illegal substance
That I'm told not to associate with, not to touch, not to take in,
Yet I sniff it, eat it, drink it, live it
And like a drug junkie, I remain under it's addictive spell
And who's to tell,
Will I ever escape it's grip?
How is it that this thing with no hands and no feet
Can wrestle me into submission
Leaving me begging for mercy
And whimpering weakly under it's power?
It stands over me like a tower
Though it has no physical stature.
I am more human than he,
Yet this invisible creature that feasts on my imagination is bold enough to dictate my every move.
Every smile, every footstep, even every word
Gets trapped by this stronghold,
Under its weight, my emotional grandeur folds
And all I can do is sit there as it moulds me...
It moulds each day into a bad day,
It shapes each positive into a negative
And what can I do?
Just sit there.
It fries my brain to a dry, burnt crisp,
It leaves me powerless to make any decision.
I stay stagnant and motionless, in this state that's so contrasted to my former self,
The previous me that ran hard and free
Until that faithful day I took a wrong turn fleeing from rejection and hurt
Only to run straight into the arms of... Fear...
And though some may think his grip is chilly,
I felt warmth and security
He held me tight, stroked my hair softly and told me "Everything will be alright".
He said to sit on the outskirts with him and watch everyone else in motion,
Because if I left his company I'd be as vulnerable as small fish in a huge ocean.
Fear told me of all the sharks out there,
And in this 'refuge' from pain I listened as Fear would weave his web of lies
Deeper and deeper into my mind
And every time I'd think I was ready to jump out and take a risk,
He'd hold me tighter and whisper in my ear,
"You can't do it..."
I believed everything Fear would say.
For all this time I've sat wrapped in His embrace,
Too scared and uncertain to walk away
And I ask myself every day
"How did he get me here?"
The answer is... I gave him leeway...
If I hadn't sat and listened as he slowly unravelled every thread of emotional strength and stability,
If I hadn't let this figment of my imagination rule over me,
And if when Fear's warm hands gently caressed my thought processes, I told him not to touch me
I may well still be free!
It was me...
So now I have a better glimpse of his strategy
And it's clear that Fear is only what I've let him be
Then surely if my mind and my actions work in harmony to act instead, in courage and bravery
This tyrant can be overthrown completely
If this is true, the real question here is "What can Fear actually do to me?"
Fear can only really be disarmed by courage. True courage is being able to move and act boldly even in the face of fear. I don't believe courage is a genetic trait. Its a choice. Today, I must choose to be courageous.
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I loved this. I have a friend who would benefit from these words. Gonna pass the link on. Restless nights sometimes birth great things! :-) God BLESS you Sweetie!