Can I love you? Part 2 | Print |  E-mail
Wednesday, 02 March 2011 10:54

I know I've been talking about love a lot lately... No real reason for that other than the fact that I'm learning about what it really is. (To all those who have secretly been 'keeping an eye on me' or trying to marry me off, no it's not because of a man. lol!) I'm so overwhelmed by this concept!

 

For a while now I've seen and heard so many people's thoughts on love through things they say and how they relate with others. My question now is, "Can I love you if you don't love me?..."

 

The common understanding of love is that it only works when the two people involved in the particular relationship have a mutual feeling of love for each other. I've heard people say that if another person doesn't love you then they're not worth your love, or if that person doesn't put you first then don't put them first and things of that nature. Maybe they're right? I know what it's like to feel like you're showing love to someone who doesn't seem to feel the same. It's quite a rough and painful feeling. When you pour out and don't get poured into, just as with a jug of water, eventually you feel empty and a bit drained because naturally as humans whether we realise it or not, we desire love. The thing is though, can I say "I love you" if I stop loving you, when you stop showing love to me? Was it ever really love?

 

My model of love now is being based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (Sorry, I like the bible... well I'm not that sorry...) which I think is the best description I've come across so far. Have a look:

 

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)

 

What do you notice about the description?... The first thing that strikes me is that every attribute of love is directed outwards. No part is conditional by another person's actions. Love just is what it is! Now where does that put our 21st Century version of love that works only when others love us? In the bin I'd say! As a speaker at my church once said, "I love you out of my own capacity to love". If all of a sudden you stop treating me so nicely and your focus drifts to another, even if I feel like I've been put on the backburner, my love for you isn't dependent on you, it's dependent on me! In fact, that's how the 'Can I love you' poem came about. I made a conscious effort to make every suggestion of love non-dependent on the other person but rather on how I can love them.

 

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Don't get me wrong, sometimes in love we do need to give each other space. Nowhere in love does it say I have to "beg friend" with you or "spend every waking moment" with you. I've found in some of my own relationships that I and others need to step back a little sometimes for each other's health especially when we clash, which naturally we will do. However, the definition above does states that love "keeps no record of wrongs", so although I may need to step back, I don't do it with hate in my heart or for my own benefit because "I'm number 1". My reasons for doing so are because I want the best for you. You see where I'm going with this?

 

As well as that, I consider how I have been loved. Those who know me REALLY well, will know that my miserable days are REALLY miserable (exposure) In my house and when I'm around those who know me best, I don't hide my feelings. If I'm sad, it shows all over, in my face, my speech, my attitude, everything! It's actually pretty horrible at times (Sorry fams, I'm working on it alt) I think to myself, if those people didn't continue to show me love, where would I be now? When I get nasty, I expect others to bear with me because I'm learning and still need their support. Why then should I be so 'cut and dry' and not do the same with others? If I deserve 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th (etc) chances, doesn't another person too?

 

I think it's a good idea for us to question our position on love from time to time. We call ourselves loving people but are we really? Have we made the choice to maintain the air of love in our relationships even if the other person hasn't quite made that decision? Can I still show you kindness if you don't show the same to me? Can I still be gentle with you when you're aggressive?... Some will most likely respond by saying they'd prefer to stick to their original way of loving - once love comes to them. lol! I know it's often easier to do that.... But can I put one more thought to you, also from 1 Corinthians 13? 

 

 1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.  (Msg)



 

I read in psychology books (during dissertation time) that humans find the greatest peace and satisfaction when achieving goals related to love, emotional well-being and putting into the lives of others as opposed to personal and material gain. Some of the most popular and rich people in the world who have everything one could desire and are admired for their fantastical fantasticness are still suicidal. Why? I don't know for sure, but I'm inclined to believe that when material wealth, fame and admiration are in abundance whilst still competing with depression, severe loneliness and solutions from multiple self-help books, there's a strong posibility that one of the greatest, most inexpensive gifts we could EVER possess may well have been left to the side uncultivated... LOVE!

 

 

Tulee. x





  

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written by Miss Browne, August 09, 2011
...For some reason I was led to read this again now (12:08am, Aug 10, 2011) after reading and watching a whole heap of sadness concerning these current riots and looting across the country...I'm feeling so grieved and although it hasn't affected me directly, I feel it has affected me personally.

I keep hearing the Holy Spirit say "What would I be doing now? How would I react to such devastation? What is my heart in this matter?"... and the truth is I know exactly what Father would do... He would love, He'd go out and out it in action by healing, restoring, serving and building up... don't get me wrong I'm not oblivious to the fact He would deal with the wrong doing (I know He would), but what I'm trying to say is that its important more now than ever before to act and live the truth, the way He'd have us do so... to love a whole people and generation that is lost!!!

And I know the 'loving' will not always be sweet, sometimes love requires something less pleasant like honesty, truth and discipline...but I cant help but wonder if we (the body of Christ) have remembered our role here, and whether we are getting ready (putting on the armour) to fight and stand up for right, love and God's justice...are we willing and available vessels to be used (in love) even in periless and foolish (ps 14:1) times such as this?... because our redeemer comes soon and I know I want to be called up yonder.

Just wanted to share where reading your thoughts met with mine in agreeance and allowed me to ponder and want to ask (to those out there) 'Can I love you?'

Lets love big, love real and love in Truth...selah! x

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